Got a toothbrush?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I didn't notice because vodka
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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