yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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