I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
