Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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