You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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