This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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