so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
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We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
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We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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