DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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