So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
