Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is the high leading the old right now
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
