I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
