Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
