He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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