i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
