And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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