put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Fuck appropriateness.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
