So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
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He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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