the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize