well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
