This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
