ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
