We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis