Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
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well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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