Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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