Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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