I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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