I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize