I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
