i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize