I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
