Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
