her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
