Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
