But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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