it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
