I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
