He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this boner is exhausting
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He has the fingertips of a God
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