I wannas sexs uuuuu
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
