i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
