I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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