He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
