She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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