i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
