Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
