It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
