there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize