Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
