I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
