I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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