Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
