Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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