Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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