I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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