just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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