I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
