he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
