you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
