I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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