just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
